Wilson Mystique

Today was one of those days that was great and wasted all at once. Since I have had my shoulder surgery my PTSD has increased through the roof. I tend to stress out with pain, and so the dreams and hypervigilance tend to get worse. I avoid sleeping during the night as much as possible because of this condition, I just tend to sleep better during the day when people are up and moving around. Saturday evening was no different, I stayed up until 0233 Sunday morning and then got up at 0815 to get ready for church. I was in some intense pain, and I did everything I could to not take any medication at all. After church we came home had some left over corned beef and cabbage, and then we laid down for naps.

It didn’t take long for me to fall asleep, when I woke up I was covered in sweat, frying hot on the outside, cold on the inside, and CRANKY. It happened again, I had the dream of jumping out of a C-130 with my son strapped onto my chest, when we landed we began moving to hunt down the enemy. Iddo was doing great, he kept his mouth shut, and was just watching. All of the sudden I ran into an enemy patrol, they opened fire on me from point blank, I turned my back to them so that Iddo would not be shot, and I could feel the bullets cutting into my back. I can still feel it right now. I remember in the dream as I am falling forward I tried to land on my side so that I would not land on top of my son. What a crappy dream. The sleep was needed, but it sucked.

Church was great and it gave me the moral uplifting I have needed for a long time, the family was wonderful, after we got up from naps we had dinner and some ice cream. The girls played well together and Iddo was his cute self, if just a little cranky. I put him down for sleep and he was out in 15 minutes. The girls went to bed without a fight, which is rare in our house, and Shea and I got to spend time together without having to fight children to have a conversation. Through this whole great day I could feel the burning skin and muscles in my back where I had been shot. I also had the feeling that I was in trouble all day long, and I just kept waiting for it.

I look forward to being able to sleep with less intense dreams. Who knows, one day they might even go away, and I will once again rest and relax like everyone else.

Some of you know that the Wilson’s are going through some changes. Recently we have decided to become entrepeneurs, which really means that Dad is now working two new jobs on top of his already crazy schedule of full time Dad, full time work, full time school, and full time church responsibilities.

We have decided to enter the web design and computer repair businesses, a lot of prayer and thought has gone into this decision, and it should be one painful trip down the rabbit hole. Our goal is, that once we come out on the other side, we will be able to support our family, create something beneficial to society and the economy, and be able to save money for retirement in the long term. SO. . . Here is hoping that works out.

More details will be coming in the near future.

Wish us luck

So Iddo, (our youngest child) started to walk recently, unfortunately this video is not of his “first” steps but Shea was able to get it on the next go around. I have to say that I really enjoyed watching this. I was sleeping when she recorded this, and she immediately emailed it to me.

So recently I posted on my facebook account (www.facebook.com/stevicus) how I was sick of hurting from my shoulder surgery in January. I was told by my surgeon that I would have to do about 12 – 18 months of being in a sling, and therapy. SO. . .  In the perfect response from my cousin Tevita, he said that the video above would be perfect for me. THANKS Tevita, without your witty humor, I would be left to myself, and that would just be boring.